How are we deal with mistakes, sins and hurtful ways of others?
What is going to be our attitude? What is going to be our mindset?
Galatians 6:1 gives the guidelines from the Living Word of God
We are to gently restore those who sin.
“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.” Galatians 6:1
This relates, to sins, mistakes, any kind of failure.
- Grace – undeserved favor – God put all His anger and the punishment for our mistakes on Jesus. Satan is about making sure we “get what we deserve” Jesus is about grace. Do we want to be “right” or have relationship? When we have relationship, we are more concerned about helping someone do what is right than judging them.
- “Moreover, the Father judges no one, but has entrusted all judgment to the Son,” Romans 8:1,2 And what does the Son say? “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.” John 5:22 (NIV)
Difference between being judgmental and judging a situation that is not good or right. We definitely need to address things that are not right but we need to do it with an attitude of gentleness and respect.
- We want to treat people with respect. Love the person always, always, hate the sin. Separate the person from the behavior in the sense that we can love the person and hate the behavior that destroys them and others.
- We need to take away the fear of making mistakes. You can make a mistake and still be loved and restored.
- We want to take the shame out of mistakes. Jesus bore our shame for us so we no longer have to be ashamed. We want to take the shame out of mistakes and replace it with questions that will bring constructive, positive results out of mistakes. We want to take the approach, “What did you learn from this and how can you do better?
- We are going to learn to take personal responsibility for our mistakes, failures, weaknesses. We don’t live alone. We live in community. We need to understand how our actions affect others. We need to ask ourselves, how does our choices and our attitudes influence other people?
- We are going to discover what went wrong and focus on what choices we need to make to have different, more positive results. What can I do to have results that are more satisfying to me and to others?
It will cause us to open ourselves up and be more real with each other. That might feel a little uncomfortable. Sometimes we make mistakes and we don’t see and so we need someone to help us see them. Our attitudes affect others. You are going to notice consequences on others. Stan, you say I’m angry and I don’t realize that I am coming across that way. Sol: When people have a strong character, it is difficult to be calm or gentle because everyone is going to notice when I am upset.
Get by yourself and pray. Tell the girl, I’m too upset right now to deal with this. I need to think and pray. You won’t be fair when you make decisions right then when you are angry. Examine yourself. We need to seek the Lord for help. Take time and space to think and to make a more fair decision. Ask and seek God for wisdom. He has wisdom for each girl and each situation and for yourself. He is a wonderful resource and a marvelous counselor. Constantly seek the Lord. He puts us in difficult situations because it forces us to seek Him. Sylvia: What happens when we do all this and there is still no change. Come to me or mister. Seek God and ask Him to shed light, to understand yourself and the girl. He may want you to change. My children changed when I changed.
Suggestions for next week: Ask the Lord to help you understand the girl or the other leader. When we seek understanding, it enables us to extend more grace.
How we deal with MISTAKES on a practical level.
- If we believe one of us has “dropped the ball” and made a mistake or not assumed responsibility that was theirs, we will go to them to find out what the reasons were.
- We will commit to understanding the reasons for that mistake without blaming or judging.
- We will discuss what went wrong. We will discuss what we can do to make the situation right, now.
- We will discuss what can be done in the future to avoid that same mistake. If someone misunderstand their responsibility, we will make it clearer.
- We will process our thoughts and feelings about the situation, using I messages. We can talk about our disappointment, fears, frustration or sense of loss. This helps you accept it and move on. It also helps others realize how their attitudes or actions affect you.
- When there is a pattern of behavior that needs to be addressed, we will search for the underlying issue and address that. To avoid the same mistake we will commit to an action plan we agree on for the future.
- We will set a specific time and date to check back with each other to see how the action plan is going.
- We will believe the best about each other. We will believe that we are conscientious in our work. We recognize that we both want to do a good job and what we believe is best within our realm of knowledge and resources.